6.57am: Awoken by muffled, obnoxious voices coming from radio in bathroom. Housemate has beaten me to shower. Lie for three minutes before soothing phone alarm that sounds like digital Morcheeba goes off. Take that, winter.
7.25am: Listen to Darren Hanlon’s new album for review while eating Sultana Bran and reading paper. Is really good. Something about current song reminds me of Bright Eyes’ We Are Nowhere And It’s Now. Wonder if people still think Bright Eyes is ‘emo’. Decide not to use comparison in review.
8.45am: Leave for work. Remember have not updated old iPod Nano that holds approx six albums. Again. Choice of ‘morning music’ between Fleetwood Mac and Wild Nothing. Again. Aim was to not be mopey when arriving at work today. Maybe tomorrow.
8.49am: Can hear Lady Gaga coming from fancy iPod of guy across from me on bus. Looks happy. Is doing little dance moves with hands behind seat back. Feel mopey in comparison. Turn up iPod. My Nicks will eat his Gaga. Imagine that actually happening. Entertained for rest of bus ride.
9.32am: Work. Scan music blogs and sites. Daily update of when Strokes album is being released accompanied by bored photo of Julian Casablancas. Daily ‘controversial’ MIA quote. Daily something Twilight: Eclipse. Still haven’t seen movie. Will or won’t? Not sure. Decide to take passive route and see what happens. Robert Pattinson needs eyebrow trim. Ooh, new Total Slacker song.
9.50am: Check personal email. All music news subscription emails with same news as just read. No personal emails. Email friend with real-life job about Total Slacker song. Check Facebook. Someone has posted Total Slacker song. Post new Hunx & His Punx cover of The Loco-Motion I found last night.
11am: Short break. Look at Guardian online. More Glastonbury pictures of people in funny hats. Not actually funny. More pictures of Kylie onstage with Scissor Sisters. Wonder if Ana Matronic wants to punch her and Jake Shears. Wonder when Ana Matronic became the less self-obsessed-looking one in Scissor Sisters. Wonder what Jake Shears and Kylie talk about when hanging out. Decide on themselves. Is Kylie sexy? Don’t know anyone who thinks so. Looks like would be lazy in bed.
12.23pm: Facebook break. Watch video of new single by Countess Luann from Real Housewives Of New York City posted by friend. Trannie-speaking verses and AutoTune chorus. Surprisingly good, can’t tell if in ironic way. Read linked New York Times article. Have got name of show wrong and written Real Wives Of New York City. Should email them for second spelling correction this week. Can’t be bothered.
12.26pm: Think about Strokes. If I was publicist I would stop Julian Casablancas from talking to media until album ready. Realise banality of thought. Back to work.
1.19pm: Lunch. Scan NME ‘best ten new songs’ section thing. Listen to husband-wife duo called Kisses from LA. Sounds a bit like Kokomo and Bowie and Ariel Pink and maybe other things that Ariel Pink sounds like and I don’t know. Is good. Who does Ariel Pink sound like? Jonathan Richman? Maybe. Listen to new Semi Precious Weapons. Turn off before first chorus.
3pm: Someone puts new album on work stereo. Sounds a bit ‘slacker’ but more beautiful? Band called Pearly Gate Music. Look at album cover. Are signed to Bella Union. Think of other Bella Union bands I like. Beach House. Wavves. My Latest Novel. Wonder what happened to them. Remember when Howling Bells were signed to Bella Union and thought they would be ‘big in England’. Wonder if Pearly Gate Music hope to be ‘big in Australia’ and ‘get on the Big Day Out’.
5.14pm: On way home. Fleetwood Mac. Less mopey because on way home. Stop into supermarket to buy ‘things for dinner’. Radio is playing ‘roots’ song that sounds like Jack Johnson, but lyrics are, “I want to be a billionaire so frickin bad.” Weird. Not ‘eco’. Make mental note to look up song when get home.
6.44pm: Listen to Bowie while ‘relaxing’. Realise am listening to Bowie because made earlier mental link to Kisses. Feel duped.
9.48pm: Remember to look up song from supermarket. Is by Travie McCoy from Gym Class Heroes. Remember was douche who went out with Katy Perry before she ‘traded up’. Whose name is Travie? Wonder if ‘morally wrong’ for him to play ‘roots’ music. Watch episode of Undeclared before bed. Now have Dandy Warhols theme song in head. Make mental note to update iPod. Set Morcheeba alarm.
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